Что делать, если жизнь не складывается? Что делать, если не хватает денег? Если молодой человек бросил, лень готовиться к экзаменам, если отношения с коллегами не складываются, если жизнь проходит мимо?

Ближе всего к ответу подошёл Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Но знаете, в чём его проблема (помимо фамилии)? Он не русский. Поэтому ему пришлось написать целую книгу, когда обладатели великого и могучего могут воспользоваться магией одного точного слова.

Вы могли догадаться, что точное у нас обычно бывает матерным. Итак, я представляю вам волшебное слово, ответ на все вопросы:

Ебашить [jebashit’]

Возьмите его и больше вам ничего не понадобится: ни самооценка, ни самоуверенность, ни расположение начальника, ни смски от той девушки, ни сложные политические взгляды и моральные ориентиры.

Приложите заключённую в нём ярость к тому что перед вами, и вы совершенно забудете про себя вместе со всеми своими проблемами и переживаниями. Это слово-отмычка, слово-читкод, которым покоряются невозможные вершины и завоёвываются неприступные сердца.

Зачем вообще находиться в мире, полном проблем, конфликтов и мелкой грызни? Зачем, когда можно раствориться в деятельности, ставя амбиционные цели и полностью забыв о себе? Тебя больше нет. Есть только цель на день, неделю, год, месяц. Это полное освобождение, очищение, драйв, это как смерть, только лучше.

Mihaly C. считает, что для этого нужно определённого рода дело, способное по своим свойствам полностью захватить внимание (он приводит в пример альпинизм). Мы, русские, знаем, что это лишнее. Нужен кураж, ярость, стремление улучшить мир, и тогда самую скучную уборку можно превратить в восхождение на Эверест.

Вот ответ на все жизненные трудности и экзистенциальные вопросы. Если у вас или у кого-то в вашем присутствии когда-либо возникнет вопрос что делать?, громко и отчётливо произнесите заклинание (даже если вас не спрашивали), – ебашить! – и вы увидите, как всё само спешит разложиться по полочкам. Если же у вас на каком-то этапе появятся трудности, и я говорю о любых трудностях, спросите себя: ебашу ли я?

Задавайте себе этот вопрос регулярно, и вы будете счастливы до конца дней. Вы будете человеком, способным устроить пенную вечеринку в хосписе, а эта сучка, которая вас бросила, сама первая позвонит.

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  1. Невозможно ‘ебашить’, если настроение плохое. А если ‘ебашение’ не продуктивное реально, то настроение будет тем более экспоненциально падать.

  2. Понимаю, я тоже человек настроения. Но исследования говорят, что скорее настроение изменится во время деятельности, чем дождёшься подходящего момента)

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